It’s raining today, there’re fucking umbrellas everywhere. Umbrellas are up there with Hyundais on my hatred scale. That’s pretty high up.
Inadvertists or just plain old bastards stalk the streets with umbrellas that I’m sure should be shading a table in a beer garden somewhere.
Fucking dozy bastards, it’s hardly raining, you’re blocking the footpath and you walk too slow.
No pedestrian licence for you.
My girlfriend also hates umbrellas. This is a trait I find particularly endearing.
I haven’t been posting lately due to extreme happiness. I’m either at work, which is busy and stimulating, or spending time with my beautiful girl. Either way, time flies.
When I do post, it is in idle moments (currently on a bus going home). But I feel a real motivation to write something big. It’ll happen soon.
Bought a shitload of new clothes recently–and two new guitars. Heading home to do my washing tonight.
In other news, and to the astoundment of those that know me, I’ve been waking up at around 6 every morning.
Almost at my stop, got to go …
I don’t believe in hell, but if I did, my personal hell would be:
A world where the only cars were Hyundais. I’d spend the day constantly cold and wet, ironing the same shirt endlessly. Screaming children would run about vomiting on me while LeAnn Rimes pumped ‘Can’t fight the moonlight’ out of distorting speakers.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner would be mashed pumpkin, and the only thing to drink would be Dr Pepper.
The phone would ring constantly, but if you picked up, it would always be a telemarketer.
Streets would be covered in dogshit and the only footwear would be thongs.
What’s your hell?
(written on a phone in a cafe while I wait for a store to open so I can buy a shirt to wear to work …)
Society is mad. Completely fuckin’ bonkers.
I’m all for seatbelts and airbags and all of those things that make death a little harder to slip into, but at some point people have to take responsibility for themselves.
If you are too stupid to wear a seatbelt, that airbag shouldn’t save you. Like that muppet who sued MacDonalds after burning herself with a hot coffee. It’s coffee, you moron, it’s meant to be hot.
Here’s another crazy bit of health and safety bullshit.
We need less health and safety–bring back natural selection.
